Upsetting question

Submitted by ilovecritters on Mon, 2008/05/26 - 08:35.

This morning I found out that one of the students with special needs died this weekend.

As you know that it was really shocking and upsetting to find out especially since the school is really small, 38 students, and we all know each other.

I was wondering if anyone knows the procedures that happen at the school in this situation?

I would ask my supervisor(who is now my kyoto-sensei) but she and my 2nd year students went to a camping trip before I can ask about anything.

Rest In Peace Chi-chan.

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fenyx66's picture

It's always sad when a

Submitted by fenyx66 on Mon, 2008/05/26 - 14:47.

It's always sad when a student passes away.
If your supervisor is away and then you need to ask another teacher, (or anyone that can speak English, if you don't think your Japanese is up to it) about when the ceremonies are. There are 2 ceremonies, the Otsuya and the Osoushiki. You should ask which one all the teachers and students are going to and go with them. You should also ask how much money they are going to give. They may tell you to bring 2000 yen or more. There is a special envelope to put the money in so ask about that too.
Wear black to either ceremony. At the funeral, you will have to offer incense. Just watch the people in front of you and see how they bow and hold their hands. If I remember correctly it's bow, take a pinch of incense and bring it up to your forehead then sprinkle it on the burning charcoal, then do that 2 more times. Bow again and then you can leave. You usually do that with other people at the same time, so you won't be on the spot or anything.
If you go to the Osoushiki ( the second ceremony, usually during the day), they might have you put flowers in the casket after the incense offerings are finished, just stand next to the other teachers and do what they do.

Anyway, I'm writting this kind of quickly, so if you have any more questions, you can email me.

Derrick

k2tamiko's picture

So sorry to hear

Submitted by k2tamiko on Mon, 2008/05/26 - 22:07.

I'm so sorry to hear about your student dying. That is so very sad.

I attended a funeral the other day, and didn't attend the viewing. Just to add to Derrick's advice, if you are attending the actual funeral, you will give "koden" (the money Derrick referred to above), which I was told now the standard is 2,000 yen. On the speial envelope should be your name and how you are associated (your school's name). The money goes into the envelope face side down.

You will submit this before entering the room where the funeral is being held.

At the end of the funeral you should copy what other teachers are doing with regards to incense. Usually you will bow to the alter, then bow to the family, and bow again to the alter, take a pinch of incense, bring it to forehead level, and sprinkle it into the fire, hold your hands together and pray. I noticed most people only took a pinch of incense once. After praying, you can bow again as you step back from the alter.

Similar to funerals back home, you pay your respects to the family as you leave, and you will receive a gift from them in exchange for your koden (money).

I hope that this helps.

ilovecritters's picture

Thanks

Submitted by ilovecritters on Tue, 2008/05/27 - 16:30.

Thanks for the help you guys.
I will be going to the Otsuya after school today and my supervisor will be coming back early and hopefully help me out while there.